


It's Alright

by TheRoguelock



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Singing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:21:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23550724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRoguelock/pseuds/TheRoguelock
Summary: After a fight, Caleb's trauma comes back stronger than it has before. Fortunately, Jester is there to look after him.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre & Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 3
Kudos: 86





	It's Alright

**Author's Note:**

> So this was inspired by the song from Mother Mother with the same name. The idea jumped into my brain probably within one minute of hearing this for the first time.

“ **CALEB!** ”

Jester screamed. The day had not gone well.

They had been traveling again, a new location that Caleb had suggested, somewhere far towards the north of Xhorhas and the Dwendalian Empire.

She remembered how excited he’d looked when he suggested it, practically vibrating as he talked about how the ruins might contain a treasure trove of magical relics and spells, not to mention secrets that might have been lost since the Age of Arcanum.

They’d agreed of course. No one else had any reason to say no, and there was no event or job that they currently needed to see done. Traveler-Con had gone… not perfectly, but they’d made it work, and Caleb had gone above and beyond what he’d promised to do to help her. She still found herself unable to say how much it meant to her.

But as she looked at him now, crumpled to the ground, on his knees and unmoving, she wished more than ever that she knew what to say.

They’d been confronted by bandits again, a different group then the one they seemed to constantly bump into. They were tougher, more coordinated and, above all, just meaner. Fjord and Caduceus had attempted to negotiate with them, unsuccessfully, and when they tried to use magic to help them, the bandits responded by attacking.

It was Caleb that ended the fight, before it had gotten a chance to get out of control. A new spell he’d concocted, this one creating what seemed to be a tidal wave of flame that engulfed almost three-quarters of the bandits, including their leader. Once the spell faded, all that was left of the people that had once stood there was ash and charred bones.

The bandits had turned to flee, but before the Mighty Nein could celebrate and congratulate their wizard, he’d already fallen to his knees.

They watched, horrified, as Caleb gripped the sides of his head and screamed, like he’d been the one set ablaze.

Jester called out to him, “CALEB!”, but he didn’t seem to register any of them being there. She rushed forward, barely beating Veth and Beau there, who she just caught sharing a concerned and knowing look that she didn’t fully understand.

Jester practically skidded to a kneeling position in front of Caleb and attempted to cast a healing spell on him, but there was no sign that it had any effect. She looked at Caleb, noticing that his eyes were open wide and almost seemed to be shaking in their sockets. He was breathing heavily and wasn’t looking at any of them, as he clutched at his hair like was going to pull it out by the roots.

Jester noticed Beau and Veth move out of the corner of her eye, and she looked up to see their faces harden, staring after the remaining bandits that had taken off. Before she could suggest that they not bother with them, they had already taken off, Fjord not far behind them.

Yasha and Caduceus looked between Caleb and the backs of their remaining friends, who were already some distance away and getting farther. They turned to each other, seeming to reach some silent decision. Caduceus turned to look at Jester and smiled, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder before dashing after the others.

Jester opened her mouth to call after him, but was quieted by Yasha’s gentle hand on her shoulder. “Stay with him,” she almost whispered, her eyes at once pleading, hopeful, and full of some other emotion that Jester couldn’t place.

Jester only nodded, and Yasha smiled before turning to follow the rest of the Mighty Nein, gripping Skin-Gorger tight in one hand.

Jester watched her friends leave for a second, before she turned to focus on Caleb. He seemed to be getting worse, as tears were now streaming down his face and he’d started visibly shaking.

She stood and walked around to his side, gently helping him to his feet. He didn’t fight her, but it was an odd in-between of trying to help someone to their feet and attempting to lift an unconscious body.

She walked him to a nearby tree and sat him down, leaning him against her. He’d started mumbling now, sentences that were broken by dry sobs and that fluctuated between Zemnian and Common. She didn’t understand everything that he was saying, but the few words that he kept repeating over and over left her in no doubt that Caleb was currently reliving some horrible memory.

“I’m sorry… _Mutter_ … _Vater_ … I’m sorry.”

She took both his hands in one of hers and gently stroked his hair, whispering quietly to him, “It’s okay Caleb.”

He jerked for a second when she started speaking, but seemed calm down, if only marginally. His hands left hers for a moment, reaching instead to clutch at the front of her dress.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, voice cracking and choked by tears, “I’m so sorry.” She could almost feel the dampness in her dress from where his tears continued to flow.

She remembered a song her mother had sung for her once when she was upset. She frowned for a moment, as singing was not really something she prided herself on, especially as she recalled the way her mother sang it.

As she debated whether or not to even attempt to sing, she felt Caleb’s grip on her dress tighten. She started and looked down, smiling down at Caleb as she carefully lowered his head to her lap. She closed her eyes for a second, praying to the Traveler to grant her some of her mother’s talent.

She took a few deep breaths to steady her nerves, before she began humming the refrain. She took her time building to the chorus, but noticed that Caleb seemed to be shaking less as she continued. Taking courage from that, she opened her mouth and began to sing.

_It’s alright, it’s okay, it’s alright, it’s okay_

_You’re not a monster, just a human_

_And you made a few mistakes._

_It’s alright, it’s okay, it’s alright, it’s okay_

_You’re not gruesome, just human_

_And you made a few mistakes._

As she finished the first chorus and resumed humming, she felt one of Caleb’s hands squeeze her own, which encouraged her to continue.

_It’s alright, it’s okay, it’s alright, it’s okay_

_You’re not a demon, there’s a reason_

_You behaved in that way._

_It’s alright, it’s okay, it’s alright, it’s okay_

_And I believe, yes I believe that you will see a better day._

She continued to hum the remainder of the song, still stroking Caleb’s hair.

She felt his trembling stop as she came to the end. When the song was finished Caleb sat up, looking at her in confusion.

“Jester?” he blinked and looked about. What happened? Where is everyone?”

Jester only smiled at him, reaching up to clutch his face and wipe the tears from his cheeks. Caleb’s eyes widened again, and she had to suppress a giggle as his face turned a shade of red even darker than his hair.

‘Don’t worry,” she spoke softly, “they’re fine.”

She leaned forward, hands sliding down his face as she slowly wrapped her arms around his neck. She noticed how he stiffened against the contact, but continued to hold him as she pressed her face into his shoulder.

She held him there for some time, her smile broadening when she felt his arms move to pull her tighter.

She turned her head to whisper in his ear, “It’s alright Caleb. You’re safe.”

**Author's Note:**

> Alright. And for those interested or that know the song already, try to imagine Jester singing it a little slower than was done in the original. Not super slow, but not frantic either. For a good comparison, there's an acoustic version of the song that's pretty close to what I imagined when writing this, in terms of tempo.


End file.
